Repentance
teacher's guide Lesson 8

Lesson Eight

Repentance Is More Than Sorrow

Text: 2 Corinthians 7:8-10

This lesson has two objectives: (1) to distinguish between sorrow and repentance; (2) to emphasize that godly sorrow precedes repentance.

Paul's statement made in today's text is an example of how deeply the Christian Paul loved those he led to Christ [see 1 Thessalonians 2:5-12; 2 Corinthians 11:1-11]. Paul, as a Christian, did not regard teaching others about Jesus Christ as an occupation. He ministered to others by sharing himself and sharing the resurrected Jesus' blessings [see Romans 9:1-5; 10:1,2]. When Paul saw destructive forces deceiving men and women he led to Christ, he genuinely grieved.

Paul the Christian was not an uncaring, unconcerned confrontationalist. The positive feelings he had for fellow Christians were deep and genuine. He was not so focused on his message that he was unconcerned about people. The message had meaning only if it generated response in the lives of people. The unchristian Paul was often uncaring [see Acts 8:3; 26:9-11. The unchristian Paul was so theologically focused on his perception of God's will that he regarded killing fellow Jews to be a declaration of loyalty to God]. Christian Paul genuinely cared about people [as does God].

On one occasion he recognized this deception in many Christians in the Corinthian congregation. They were on the brink of apostasy. Paul could not let that occur without taking action! Thus, he wrote them a stern letter calling attention to their problems and his concern for them. At the time he wrote and sent this letter, he was filled with regret. He regretted their situation. He regretted their need for his letter. He regretted sending them the letter.

Paul faced a major personal dilemma when he saw the ungodliness of Christians in Corinth. How does one confront the people he loves without alienating them from himself and God? His primary desire was to renew the life of the message about the resurrected Christ in the lives of the Corinthian congregation. If he successfully refocused these Christians on God through Christ, they would abandon their ungodly attitudes and behaviors.

Since a significant period passed [no postal service was available] before he learned their reaction to his letter, Paul was in anxiety through that period. Would they reject and renounce his concerns? Would they despise him? Would they inform him that he was never welcome among them again? Would they completely apostatize from Jesus Christ and the only good news that could save them? How would they react to his censoring their attitudes and behaviors?

Note the fact that the period between Paul writing his letter of censor and Paul learning about the congregation's reaction to his letter was a period of deep personal concern. His letter was [of necessity!] hand delivered. His report came to him from their hand delivered letter to him or from the return of the person who delivered his letter. Sending a letter and receiving a reply was [by our standards] a slow process!

With enormous relief he finally learned their response to his letter. In another letter he explained he found no personal joy or fulfillment in sending the earlier letter of censor. The earlier letter was not an attempt to "control" them, and they should not view that situation as "Paul won this time." They must understand Paul found no pleasure in causing them pain--he loved them!

It was important for the Corinthian congregation to understand Paul's joy. Paul did not want them to confuse his joy with gloating! He did not want to create a new problem through their misunderstanding his motive for joy. To Paul it was essential for them to understand his joy was produced by their reaction to his letter. Instead of rejecting him, they redirected their attitudes and behavior. They repented rather than rebelling! In stead of angrily reacting, they were sorry!

However, his reaction to learning about their response to his earlier letter was one of undisguised joy. He wanted them to know with certainty that his joy was not produced by their pain, but by their response. It was their reaction, not their problems, which gave him joy. His joy was produced by their commitment to God's will! Their repentance was his joy!

Paul's joy reveals how deeply he loved these people! He genuinely wanted them to focus their lives on God's will. The matter was much larger and more important than what they thought about the person of Paul!

Paul rarely used the word repentance in his letters. However, his use of repentance in this situation provides us invaluable insights into the nature of repentance. His insights are relevant to today's religious world. Please notice Paul made this statement to men and women who were Christians.

Today's Christian is blessed by the insights Paul shared concerning repentance with those Christians.

What insights did Paul provide? (1) Godly sorrow precedes repentance, not is repentance. Repentance is the result of being sorrowful toward God. (2) Repentance is concern about God's will rather than personal desires. (3) The change [redirection of life] produced by repentance is not filled with regret. The attitude is not: "I wish I did not have to leave this behavior [attitude]. If I could do what I really want to do, I would continue my ungodly lifestyle. However, I do not want to go to hell. I have no choice! I simply must do as God demands even though I do not want to!" The attitude is: "I now understand God's will in this matter. I deeply regret causing God grief. I want God to find joy in my love for Him, not grief produced by my heart and behavior. In the crucified/resurrected Jesus, He did and does so much for me! I gladly redirect my life to follow His will! I want to leave my ungodly ways behind! My old ways would destroy me, but His ways will rescue me."

Make clear distinctions in these two matters: (1) the difference between godly sorrow and repentance [godly sorrow is regret that the person caused God pain; repentance is action taken to turn away from the attitudes/behavior that produced the regret]; (2) the fact that the motive for the sorrow matters to God [repentance is not just a matter of changed behavior].

Many people confuse sorrow with repentance. In fact, many think that feeling sorrow is repenting. Not so! Is feeling sorrow necessary? Yes, if it is sorrow for offending [grieving] God. Is feeling sorrow repentance? No, it precedes repentance.

It is fairly common for people to confuse sorrow with repentance. Help students move past that confusion.

A Christian [as well as the person who is not a Christian] can feel sorrow for many reasons. Those reasons include (1) failing; (2) getting caught; (3) enduring a specific consequence or set of consequences; (4) being exposed for "who I really am"; (5) the end of pretense [hypocrisy]; (6) the end of the ungodly pleasures experienced; etc. One can experience many forms of sorrow and never experience godly sorrow. One can even experience godly sorrow and still not repent. Godly sorrow opens the door to repentance, but it does not cross the threshold into repentance. If one is to repent, there first must be godly sorrow. However, godly sorrow leads to repentance, not is repentance.

Discuss forms of sorrow that are not godly sorrow. Help students understand that it is the motive prompting the sorrow that distinguishes godly sorrow from other forms of sorrow. Have students add to the above list.

The Christians at Corinth were at the edge of the precipice of apostasy. If problems continued unaddressed, they would leave God's will. If that occurred, Paul's relationship with them would radically change. The eventual result of continuing in their ungodly attitudes and behavior would be a return to unconcern about God. If that happened, the consequence would be spiritual death. If that happened, they returned to their spiritual condition prior to entering a covenant with God through the crucified/resurrected Jesus.

Note the patient God filled with love, mercy, and grace does not abandon a Christian the first moment ungodly attitudes or behavior appear. However, also help them realize deliberate, willful continuation of ungodly attitudes or behavior will kill a relationship with God. Mistakes arising from ignorance are one matter. Deliberate rebellion is quite another consideration! [See 1 Timothy 1:12-16, and especially note verse 13. The violent Paul received God's mercy because he did not know Jesus' true identity or the reality of Jesus' resurrection.]

The only way for this not to occur was through repentance. They had to care about God! They had to be grieved because their ungodly attitudes and behavior was offensive to God Who loved them! They had to be in such sorrow that they changed those attitudes and behavior!

When Christians sin [which every Christian does!], the only alternative to spiritual death is repentance [see 1 John 1:5-10].

When I was a child, children commonly were forcefully taught to say, "I am sorry!" The child might not feel sorry, still he or she must say the words. The child must say the words regardless of the kind of sorrow he or she felt. It might be sorrow for being caught, sorrow for the consequences, sorrow for the embarrassing situation, or sorrow for other reasons. However, the important thing was not what he or she felt, but what he or she said.

The point: at least one generation was taught to disassociate sorrow/motives from words. For many adults, that disassociation became a part of their adult concepts.

Fearfully, some grew to adulthood with a conviction that in sorrow it was not what you felt but what you said. If it is not godly sorrow, God is unimpressed. In fact, the words offend Him! If it does not produce repentance, God is unimpressed. In fact, the words offend Him!

A person's words never deceive God! When God hears words, He looks at motives. [Consider Galatians 6:7,8]

Thought questions:

  1. Discuss Paul's personal concern for the people he led to Jesus Christ.

    Read today's text, 2 Corinthians 11:1-11, and 1 Thessalonians 2:5-12 and note the words "love," "godly jealousy," "betrothed," "humbling," "without charge," "not a burden," "father," and "nurse." Use Paul's self declarations to stress the depth of his caring for those he taught.

  2. Why did Paul write the earlier letter to Corinthian Christians discussed in today's text?

    He was deeply distressed by ungodly behavior and attitudes among the Christians in Corinth.

  3. Why did the earlier letter he wrote cause Paul so much concern?

    Paul did not know how the Christians at Corinth would react to it.

  4. What insights did Paul provide regarding repentance?

    It is preceded by godly sorrow. It is focused on God's will. It does not regret changing.

  5. What is the difference between godly sorrow and repentance?

    Godly sorrow is regretting the pain a Christian caused God Who loves him/her. Repentance is acting on the regret by leaving the attitudes/behavior that caused the pain and developing attitudes/behavior that show love for God.

  6. State some reasons for sorrow that do not produce godly sorrow.

    Failure; getting caught; consequences experienced; exposure; the end of hypocrisy; abandoning ungodly pleasures; etc.

  7. From Paul's insights noted in this lesson, describe repentance.

    Repentance deeply regrets one's attitudes or behavior that caused God hurt/pain [regarding God suffering, see Genesis 6:5,6], leaves those attitudes or behavior, and develops attitudes and behavior that reflect love for God.


Link to Student Guide Lesson 8

Copyright © 2004
David Chadwell & West-Ark Church of Christ

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