Learn from all situations, and do not defend personal mistakes. If you want
to be a credible leader, seek to be credible in what you do and say. If you
pretend that you never make mistakes, people always will be suspicious of you
because everyone makes mistakes. Covering mistakes, pretending a mistake is not
a mistake, deliberate wrong- doing, and attempts to deceive all destroy
credibility. Being human does not destroy credibility.
People used to talk of those who “shot themselves in the foot.” The implication
was (and is) that the person suffered from a self-inflicted wound that made him
ineffective at best and useless at worst. Satan will provide you enough enemies
without you being your own enemy.
Do not expect perfection in yourself, but do not excuse or justify your
imperfections. What does that mean? Make it your goal to be the best “you” in
Jesus Christ you can be. Know your own weaknesses, and seek to improve them. Use
your strengths to help people, not to try to hide your weaknesses. See yourself
honestly in the knowledge that you constantly reveal yourself to those you seek
to lead.
Following are some practical observations concerning continual goals worthy of
consideration by leaders who aspire to effectiveness in leading.
Keep Confidences
If you are effective as a leader, individuals will seek your help. Help when you
can help. Know your limitations. Develop a good referral list, and quickly refer
when you are bumping your limitations. The fact that the congregation appointed
you as a leader does not mean you suddenly, mysteriously have abilities you
never had before or that you suddenly, mysteriously possess training without
going to classes or studying reliable materials. Do not develop an exaggerated
opinion of yourself.
The quickest way to destroy people’s confidence in you is to violate confidence.
(1) The elders need to have and subscribe to a clear set of internal agreements
that all of them follow in regard to keeping confidences. (2) Wives of elders
need to understand the importance of elders keeping confidences before the
husband assumes his role as an appointed leader.
My wife always has understood there were matters I could not discuss with her
because of confidence. I wanted her to be able to react to others as she always
reacted. I wanted her to be able to avoid the awkwardness produced by her
knowing something she should not know. Will there be times when people assume
she knows something she does not know? Yes. Will some people assume I tell her
“everything”? Yes. Will there be times when she is “the last to know” a matter?
Yes. However, she understands and is comfortable with the fact that my knowing
something she does not know has nothing to do with my love for her or my
personal confidence in her.
Work as a Team
Elders do not cease to be individuals when the congregation appoints them to be
leaders. They will have private views, hold private conclusions, and subscribe
to private understandings. Yet, by appointment in the conviction that they
are Christ-like men, they work together. They function together as a team as
each adopts team leadership considerations. No one should be appointed to an
eldership to function alone as he seeks to discredit the other elders. They work
together to serve.
Many congregations have been shredded or have been divided because one man
regarded himself as the authoritarian who had to have his way. For one to be an
authoritarian while the others seek to work as a team will not work. Internal
division (not mere disagreement) in leadership eventually expresses itself in a
fractured congregation.
In our society of the twenty-first century, elders must function together as a
team for the godly well-being of the congregation. They must not become
independent voices who quarrel among themselves or intimidate each other because
they see leadership as power rather than service. Elders seek to guide a
congregation. They do not receive revelations from God.
Delegate
No one man or small group of men can know and do everything. For example,
usually there are people who are gifted at accounting, or know how to care for
buildings, or know how to do the work of an attorney, etc.
Elders should identify and utilize the gifts around them. They were appointed to
provide spiritual guidance and meet the needs of people. Surely, there should be
open accountability! Surely, the elders and the congregation should be kept
informed! However, “I do not know about that,” is a good answer if the inquirer
can be directed to someone who does “know about that.”
Get the Christian Women’s Perspective
In most congregations today, women compose over 50% of the membership. I
personally have known small congregations where women were 100% of the
membership. No effective group today would refuse to allow half of its members
to provide views or input to be considered.
If an approved means for Christian women in a congregation exists to provide
input, and the method is announced, the congregation will benefit from the
observations and input of a significant portion of its members.
This is not a suggestion that an unscriptural approach be utilized or that
individuals violate a conscience conviction. It is the suggestion that a wise
leadership provide everyone in the congregation with a meaningful voice.
Please realize asking a person for input when you already have decided what you
will do insults the one who gives input.
Be Honest
There is a terrible temptation to tell a person what he or she wants to hear.
Nowhere is this temptation more powerful than in a congregation’s leadership.
When (a) an all-volunteer membership is combined with (b) an oversimplified
view, it seems to be much easier to say what the person or group wants you to
say rather than provide them an understandable explanation. If that is done,
will everyone always understand and act with positive, godly attitudes? No.
However, if you are open and honest, those with open minds will see the openness
and honesty when the heat of the moment dissipates.
Attempts to ignore people, or to confuse people, or to justify self will
ultimately be seen as a dedication to dishonesty. As difficult as it is to be
honest in awkward situations, it is more difficult to convince the disillusioned
of your honesty when the crisis has passed. For you to be effective as a
congregational leader, people must believe you and believe in you.
Listen Well
One of the big, common mistakes made by the person seeking leadership
effectiveness is a failure to listen. It is so easy to assume you know what a
person is going to say before he or she says it. It is so easy to assume the
thinking of another person before he or she reveals it. It is so easy to assume
another person’s concern before he or she expresses it.
One thing that happens when you speak before you listen is that you sound
foolishly judgmental. Prior to hearing the person, you fashion your statement.
To you, the statement is wonderful and wise! You are more concerned about
pre-empting a criticism than understanding a person. You are convinced that your
statement will end the situation you dread before that situation occurs. You
congratulate yourself on all the time you will save. When the person comes,
before listening, you blurt out your wonderful, wise statement in the full
confidence that you have an accurate understanding.
When it is too late to alter the impression you've made, you discover that your
wonderful statement missed the point. You discover you did not understand the
person or his (her) thinking and reasoning. Suddenly you sound like a judgmental
person who stereotypes others. You sound like someone who is afraid of
criticism, or who cannot tolerate concerns that did not originate with him. You
look like a control freak, you sound like a control freak, and you are acting
like a control freak. Sadly, you have produced a picture of yourself that is
inaccurate and is not at all the “you” you are. Even sadder, you may not have
opportunity to change that inaccurate picture.
Before you speak or make a decision, listen. Listen to hear and understand.
Commonly, people associate fairness with a willingness to listen.
Avoid Reactions
In communication (which is critical to effective leadership), reaction is
usually emotional. First, I react (emotionally respond with my initial
impression), then I reflect (begin to consider “what this means”—a
mixture of emotion and factual examination), and finally I evaluate
(principally consider facts and logic).
In my life, I use what I call the “48 hour rule.” First, I emotionally react
(everyone has personal likes and dislikes). Second, I reflect (“My feelings
aside, what is this about?”) Third, I evaluate (“What are the facts and logic I
should consider in my commitment to Christian honesty?”).
In my life, I find that I get to the evaluation stage in around 36 hours. By
observing 48 hours, I grant myself some time to research and think. For
everyone, the stages are the same, but the time spent in the stages is unique to
the individual. All I suggest is that you give yourself some time before taking
a stand or making a decision.
I have found that statements or decisions made in stages one and three are not
the same. I find that I am much more likely to make statements or decisions I
regret in stage one. I have found that I make my better statements or decisions
when I am in the evaluation stage. Although we all go through stage one,
congregations are blessed by leadership when leaders are patient enough to reach
stage three before acting.
Lead from the heart by letting the heart belong to God. Always learn God’s
principles. Always learn God’s values. Always learn God’s ways. Never stop
learning, loving, and serving.