Link to other
Writings of David Chadwell One of Joyce and my favorite stories involves
Ira North, a well known preacher when we were young marrieds. We heard him speak
about strong marriages at a seminar, and he told this story on himself.
When he turned 40, he bought a motorcycle and all the personal gear that went
with cycling. His wife decided she was not going to let him ride alone while he
was having “a mid-life crisis,” so she bought herself the personal gear to ride
with him. When we heard him speak, he was way past 40, past his “crisis,” and
past riding a motorcycle.
As he told that story (and it was hilarious—if Ira told it, it was hilarious),
he stressed this point. Whoever you intend to be as a person (personality,
attitudes, outlook, etc.), work on it seriously before you are 40. Because,
“Whoever you is at 40, you will only get iser!” (Do not expect something to come
along and change you against your will.)
I do not know that 40 years of age is a “lock in” age. I do know: (a) change
becomes harder to handle after 40 than before 40. Before 40 we thrive on change
as we seriously wonder how the world could be so stupid as not to see the value
of change. (b) After 40, we are more prone to defend than to discover. What we
think “should be” is obviously good. Things differing from our perspective are
bad. “Do you know what that will lead to” is a good destination prior to 40, but
a bad destination after 40.
My point is this: there is never a time in life when you do not need to give
careful attention to (a) who you are and (b) what you intend to become. If you
are a grouch the first 50 years of your life, you likely will be a grouch till
you die. If you are kind the first 60 years of your life, you likely will die as
an unselfish, thoughtful person. You cannot live the lifestyle of a selfish
person, or a complaining person, or a contentious person for years and years and
suddenly, without effort, be transformed into a different person overnight.
Yes, repentance is possible. Yes, sobering awareness is possible. Yes,
conversion is possible. Yes, redirection is possible. However, those things
occur because you choose for them to occur. Such things do not happen without
you, but because of you with God’s strength. Ultimately, it is true of all of
us—we are who we choose to be. That choice was made slowly with years of
personal focus and behavior. However, in the majority of instances we make that
decision (or excuse ourselves from making it).
God provides the strength. We each make the choice. If you do not like yourself,
talk to yourself. If you like who you are, thank God for the strength and
guidance. Avoid the temptation to judge (every person’s circumstances are
different). Choose to encourage!
Remember: You have to live with you for the rest of your life. And so does
everyone else! Let God through Jesus teach you how to be a joy to be around.
Link to other
Writings of David Chadwell
